Enough

I think.. I'm easily offended. Which is starting to be a problem.

Sigh. This isnt the first time. De ja vu, anyone? Shh. Shut up. Save it. I dont want to hear it.

Thank you

I'm sorry. I really am. It's just that I never knew it mattered. That I mattered. Sounds so emo and all but it's true.

Today was kinda interesting. It suddenly dawned on me that hey, I was really really lucky. Being under the mercy of such a creature (which didnt turn out to be all that cold hearted! How about that! Hah, but it's likely by chance more than anything else).

I really want to tell you everything. I feel obliged to. But.. I dont know. I just hope you know you're not alone. At all. (: This may sound terrible but I'm glad I'm not the only one.

Niz sleptover my place for the weekend!!! <3>

Which also means she met a number of my relatives! So now you understand right, the pressure from them! My relatives were being so.. sweet and reassuring which makes it all the more scary! Esp Abg Razif! I mean I know lah. He's from RI and whatnot. But whoa. The way he'd look at me right in the eye talking about the O's.. And you know, me not putting in my best effort would have to avert my eyes elsewhere cos man it was intense! ): And Anjang too. Sigh.

Well anyway, here's Ilhan! Abg Razif's and Kak Idayu's kid! My super super SUPER cute um.. nephew? (Is that what you call your cousin's son?)

Check out those lashes!

Behind him is Sarah! She got neglected by the camera cos Han's just too cute. Also cos she cant seem to stand/sit still!

And this here is my cousin, Nadia! Pretty yeah?

Niz kinda died. Cause of death: The extreme comfort my bed provides! (lameness due to spending 48 hours straight with her. :/ )

Niz & Leisha. They just took my phone and started taking pictures!

Love love many many! XOXO

Burnt bridges pave the way for new ones

Did you guys catch Prison Break? Omg. I was so scared for the doctor! And next week's snippet seems really cute! I'm trying to stick to the topic of the really cute budding romance between the characters... But damn! Mariah Carey has foresight defenitely. Why did Wentworth Miller have to be so hot?

For the Female population, of course!

Had a good long talk with Aniszah last night. We were talking about, well, everything basically. Friendship was part of it. And each time I think of that, I'd be really saddened by everything that's happened. I mean, yeah, I guess they serve as "learning points" and all.. But it's just sad.

We talked about our take on different stuff with regards to the big F word (read above idiot). Great minds think alike. (No Najib, this doesnt apply to you. Hah.) Funny how things turn out to be. Sigh.

Anyway. So I dont know why, it took me this long to even consider that possibility. And then I pieced everything together, bit by bit. It's starting to fit nicely. Well, it's.. new, for lack of proper descriptions.

The power of Oblivion.

Talking to Niz made me realise it all. Which is retarded. It's like I'd only realise stuff if I were to accidentally let it slip, and then it'd register in my head. I'm stupid like that.

My head's really like butterflies in a bottled mind now. It's scary.

Goodbye and good luck,
Nerves Gone Wild

Finally 16!

So I turned 16 on Friday. Nothing big, I suppose. I mean, taking into consideration the timing and all, it's pretty understood. Well, I was pretty pleased by the number of smses I got wishing me Happy Birthday. So thank you. (:

Later the night, I was supposed to go over to Mr Alwi's. But omg, cut me some slack! Ended up meeting up with the Opera people for some catching up! Been a grand total of 3 months since we met up as a group. (Not my fault I cant deal with that)

Met Najib first. I'm sorry lah for being asleep at exactly 12! Lol. Is it that loser to be sleeping the second you turn 16?! Hahah. Well, he seems to think so.

So anyway, realised that my 16th is gna be hell boring if I dont do something interesting that night. When this hit me, I had about 3 hours to go do something, anything. Not much time there.

So I did it! Obviously I'm not gna tell you what I did! But it's definitely memorable, one of those I'd-remember-for-life kinda thing. I still dont get the hype. *shrugs

Headed over to Cheers and bought magazines! YESSSSS! I now have the copy of InTouch which featured quite a bit of the Carters!!! <33>

The bunch of us just sat at Al-Ameen talking and catching up over ice kachang. Mud's dad picked him up about ten or smth. Eh, where did you and your parents go?

A lot of things were laid straight out on the table. Kinda glad actually. (: Hey, even if it's months later, you still know right! Hahah. That was tons of fun. You should have seen Mar's face. Priceless. And then it was just us girls left. Bitched away, to only a third degree so it's not that bad. Well, if anything, it sure was nice, the whole meet up.

So now you know.

After I got back home, I got totally absorbed with things not study related. At all. Haha. Oh come on, I spent half the day in the school library!

Ashlee Simpson's the next Monster Jackson!

Fweak.

You know, Welcome in Christina's Back to Basics album ( many thanks to Dirah and Naz! <3>) scares me! The music is very freaky. That creepy sensation totally crept down my back. I suppose it's just cos I have this thing about circuses. Sometimes they're just plain scary. Freakin' clowns and Joker in Batman doesnt make things better! I'd totally throw Chucky into the picture and that will scare me all the more! *shivers

The Right Man is amazing. Blew me away.

I love the fact that Christina's albums are always amazing. She totally doesnt rush making another record and so the quality's always really great! Love her tons. Oh you know, I didnt know that Hurt was the song she sang on the VMAs! What a dufus right.

And! I pulled out her Stripped album sleeve to do some research and.. I found out who she was referring to on F.U.S.S! Some Scott Storch guy.

So no, I did not have a "wild night", now that I'm supposedly legal, like what the silly people in the library kept pressing on. *rolls eyes* But I did have these..

They kept me up all night!

Okay, gotta hit the books now, shopping later with The Family. And! I've gotten an inspiration. Know just the kind that I want, so that's good. (: Later ladies.

The heat is so on

Great news! Fourth episode's out! It's finally uploaded! THANKYOUHOC.COM! You=Amazing. And Webjay's just down for a while! Nobody sued anybody! Say yeah baby.

Oh yes, Happy Birthday Xiuqi! <3

It's really pretty cool the things I still have on my mind considering the timing and all. I mean, oh I dont know, it's only my OLEVELS practical tomorrow. And I here, am getting more and more ridiculously obsessed with stuff. And trust me, THIS just got me more excited.

Benjamin Mckenzie's really adorable. There's just something about the guy that makes him so friggin' appealing. Maybe it's the character he plays? But I know it's more than that.

You know what else is adorable?

Here kitty kitty

Hugs&Kisses, bye! (I have this sudden weird need to send out some love)

Waking Up

First of all! What on EARTH happened to Webjay!? Please tell me it's only my computer and they didnt get sued or smth like that! If not how am I supposed to listen to nice cool songs without wasting space by downloading them!? ):

My mood swings are getting insane. I hate it. I can be this totally unbearable, impossible person. Well anyway, I think this blog's gna stay.

It's amazing, the things you realise when you just look on and shut up. Haha.

Oh that ugly green-eyed monster. Talk about feeling left out. Sigh. Just gotta live with it.

Some TV therapy time is in need right now. Where's that trusty Telescope?

Officially our last day as Cedarians

Memories are playing like a film without sound

So what happened? I decided to switch to Beta Blogger which is the biggest mistake I've made since I converted to Blog-ligion. (Not funny, okay bad joke, sorry.) I'm sick of sitting waiting wishing for the freaking page to load. Beta Blogger probably just doesnt click with my ancient computer.

Well I still dont like you Beta Blogger! I should have known something like this would happen when they stated that you cant ever switch back to plain ol' reliable Blogger. Damn! Things dont just happen! There are signs! But then again...

Anyways, so the class of 2006 has graduated. As of now, pardon me if I start to sound incoherent cos my thoughts are definitely all over the place when it comes to this!

On Thursday, we left our mark as a class, all summed up in a game of hopscotch, if you can call it that.

4c hopping down memory lane

The 2 rehearsals (3 hours long mind you) we had was pretty fun. It was nice just "hanging out" with the entire cohort like that. Yeah, so I grumbled quite a bit about it being a waste of time.. But well, we got to sneak a peek into what's prom gna be like! Go Sheena! Your catwalking was power lah! And hey Diana, win that freaking pageant k? And Dirah! Dance like there's no tomorrow! Cos after that night, there really wont be any. ):

Okay. So on Friday when the entire cohort was "practicing", singing the songs on the stage; At the Beginning to be specific, I started to tear - like the asshole that I am. I couldnt help it! The lyrics really struck the Emo Chord. And hello, my period was coming (an hour later!) so it just wasnt my fault!

We were strangers
Starting out on a journey
Never dreaming
What
we'd have to go through
Now here we are
And I'm suddenly standing
At
the beginning with you

No one told me
I was going to find you
Unexpected
What you did to my heart

See, it was unexpected. As in I never knew (call me ignorant) we were going to sing that song! So I had no time to prepare and all that. It was a blow, definitely.

On Saturday itself, I thought I could hold it together, you know, had the time to "prepare" myself. Screw all that. When Rachel came by to pass me a CD-letter, the waterworks just burst.

Achala's speech threatened the tears to spill. It was nice and warm. (:

I was happy and excited when I went up on stage to receive the envelope of stuff from Mrs Chew. A new chapter closed. The start of a new one.

But hell. It was a different story altogether up there singing with the Awesome Class of 2006. Hugging and crying. Singing the school song the loudest possible but failing due to all the sniffling, the choking with emotions..

It was bad bad crying. My face felt really hot. I dont even want to imagine how crappy I looked! It felt really final. I hated that. The finality of it all.

I looked to my left, realising there was a gap, my face was a mess. Then I saw this Cedarian, her face was a mess too, we dont know each other, I didnt know her name, but it was suddenly clear and understood. We're all Cedarians, everyone is in it together. So at the same time, we smiled sadly at one another and put our arms around each other swaying, singing (and crying) to the song.

Hugging everyone, those who mean more egging on the tears to flow full blast. Man it was depressing!

My lovely class, 4C, headed down to the courtyard to take class photos. Did Billi Banja and Retetenggae (sp?) and cheered ala OAC. Right in the middle of the courtyard making our presence felt. Maybe we looked stupid to the parents. But hey, it's my 4c. We do things our way.


Hello everyone who has any photo of the class/the hopscotch, ME, please mail it to me, thanks! Novabelle, Lock, Naz, etc!

Felt whole and satisfied after the courtyard affair. (: 4C will be missed. The best class I could ever ask for.

I'll miss my class, I'll miss the friends, I'll miss the teachers, I'll miss my class, I'll miss sleeping like an idot in the bus each day.. I'll miss everything. I'll miss Cedar.

As we go on, we will remember.